So, why can't I?

A lot has been going on since my last post, I have just been a lazy blogger! LOL
We did our first round of Clomid and are still "trying," I have 2 appts this week to have tests ran and blood drawn, for what exactly you might ask, well, I am not sure!! :-)
I am taking on a new position at work and am super stoked. I am a little scared that I might fail, but more excited and ready to make it into something BIG!!
I am debating whether or not to decorate for Christmas this year. Last year we didn't want to celebrate and this year, well I am still on the fence. I am leaning more towards not doing it, but haven't decided. My mom thinks I should put out one decoration, she is so funny!
Talking about Christmas, here is where my title comes in.
Mom and I were at a craft show last week and I saw this little girl with the most ADORABLE hat I have ever seen. And I knew right away if Elliot were here that I would ask the girl where she got it so I could buy one. We kept walking around and I kept staring at this precious little girl in this cute little hat. I finally asked her mom where the hat was from and low and behold, she had made it. She told me where to find her on Facebook.
I have debated contacting her, going back and forth. Then I thought, what the hell I am going to.
So I did. She replied back asking how old my child was and asking for measurements. I then explained about Elliot and asked if she could make a tiny one for him and also a general one for a 3 to 6 month old. AND she is going to!! I am soooooo EXCITED!!!
I know this might seem odd, but I am buying this for Elliot for Christmas. I have debated like I said and I was half afraid to tell her I wanted the small hat, afraid she would think I was nuts, but you know what?? Elliot is and always be my son and just because he isn't here, that doesn't mean I can't by things for him, right? I asked myself a hundred times, "so why can't I?" And every reason I could think of started with "other people will/might think..." And I finally decided that's not a good enough reason.
And I am having one made for our "future child." God, please don't let me be jinxing myself. Hell I don't even know if I can get pregnant again, but something in me is telling me do buy these.
And I don't know what it is, but ever since that craft show I can't get these hats off my mind. WHY? I still have no freaking clue, but for some reason I am being pulled and I am just following!! :-)
Gosh I do sound nuts!! LOL Oh well, guess that's not too different from any other day!
If you would like to check out the hats (her main business is photography) follow the link:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/New-Albany-OH/Tiny-Feet-Photography/123165591065311

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